nightcathedral | Put one foot wrong and I'm gonna fall...

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Put one foot wrong and I'm gonna fall...

It's nearly three in the morning when Olivia slips out of her room and heads down to the lab where Tony Stark had a sensory deprivation tank set up for her. She moves quickly and quietly, and doesn't bother switching on the lights when she enters the lab, leaving the blue glow of the monitors around the room to light her way - she's hoping that the less she does, the less JARVIS will take notice of her, and maybe he won't wake anyone to tell them what she's doing before it's too late. There are letters on her bed to Steve, to Jane, to Tony and Bruce, and between that and her absence, and whatever security cameras she's sure are monitoring this room, that'll have to do to explain where she's gone.

She eases the door quietly shut behind her, and crosses the room to the bright steel table where the syringes full of Cortexiphan Dr. Banner managed to synthesize are already laid out. Olivia picks one up, grimaces a little, and slides the needle into the big veins just below her wrist. Maybe this is what went wrong the last time. Maybe she needs a dose of the drug to get her to the right place. She's praying that's what it is, because otherwise, she's running out of ideas or other plans.

The empty syringe makes a soft ringing sound as she tosses it back into the tray. Olivia's already all but running up the stairs to access the tank. There's a breathing apparatus dangling over the top, just like in Walternate's lab. She grabs it, fits it into her mouth and takes a breath, and slides into the water with hardly a ripple.

For a minute, nothing happens. Olivia floats in the tank, eyes closed, just breathing and thinking of letting the universe pass through her, just like Walter told her the first time. Thinking of home.

Between one breath and the next, she vanishes, with only a swirling disturbance in the water of the tank to mark that she was there at all. The room stays silent, the tank empty, for another minute or two.

Then the tank explodes in a roar of heat and light, a ring of fire spreading outward and taking hold anywhere it can, blackening what it can't. Olivia tumbles out of the tank along with the water and lands with a crunch in the shattered glass from the tank, choking and gasping while the fire that wasn't put out by the flood dances up the walls.

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Once again, relief. He accepts the shirt with a little bob of his head, distracted by Olivia's sister but not quite meeting Rachel's eyes. "I'm sorry, but that's all I can really say. Agent Dunham knows better than I do in this particular instance what- um. What you have clearance for."

He throws a salute with the hand holding the shirt, managing to smile at Olivia with real warmth despite the awkwardness. "This is perfect. Thank you, O- Agent Dunham. I'll just."

He gestures to the stairs and beats a hasty retreat.

Rachel manages to stay silent until he's gone, but only just. "Seriously, Liv, I'm... ecstatic to have you home, but what the hell?"

Olivia sighs as she turns to go back inside, and offers Ella her hand, which Ella eagerly takes. She's going to need some time to think up a few believable lies... or a way to phrase the truth so it sounds plausible to Rachel. "I promise I will tell you everything I'm legally allowed to know, just... Can I put Ella back to bed first?"

There's no chance Rachel could say no to that request, and they both know it. She shakes her head, but she's grinning while she does, and so is Olivia as Ella tows her eagerly inside.

It's tempting to sleep in. It really is. If Broyles is ever going to give her a pass on taking an unannounced personal day, it's going to be now, but she can't justify that to herself. She has a report to write, things to explain to her team... and she promised Steve she'd come find him in the morning.

It's still late in the morning when she arrives at his hotel, on the off chance he managed to sleep in. He deserves a little rest before she subjects him to Walter again. The walk up to the room is familiar - just like old times, when she used to stop by to wake Peter in the middle of the night so she could talk to Walter - and before long she's juggling coffee cups so she can knock on his door.

That he managed to sleep at all is something of a miracle - but old habits have him up before the sun and, since there's not much else he can do, he goes down to find the hotel's gym and find that it's woefully under-equipped for his needs. He allows himself a moment of disappointment, scolds himself for being spoiled, and does what he can on the equipment that's there before deciding to walk around the city for a bit until he thinks Olivia might be awake herself.

He hopes she slept in, but as he's arriving at his floor as she knocks, he sees that particular hope would go unfulfilled. "Good morning," he says, surprising himself at how cheerful it sounds - but then, he's always liked early-morning walks. Getting to see the character of a city itself, without the motion of anyone but its essential parties. "Um- here, let me-"

He takes one of the cups and slides his card key into the lock, and shoves the door open so she can go inside. "Sorry, I was just... sightseeing, I guess."

"Good morning." Her greeting is almost as cheerful as Steve's. She's home. Her family's here, and she fell asleep with Ella cuddled up against her side. Except for worrying about Steve, she has every reason to be happy right now.

She steps inside with a nod of thanks, and grins at his explanation of where he was. "There's no need to apologize. Though I am glad you got back when you did. I'd hate to panic and send out search parties, but I can't promise I wouldn't..."

Steve winces. "I had thought of that- I didn't mean to be out as long as I was. It's just..."

He shrugs, taking a careful sip of his coffee, then a longer one as he gets the temperature of it. "It's kind of strange, not being recognized. I guess I was enjoying it."

His tone takes a turn for the guilty at the last part, and he can't help but feel a little ashamed. It's not like enjoying anonymity lessens his need to get back, to get home - but he did enjoy it. "Anyway, what can I do for you?"

"I'd be enjoying it too, if I were you." Having seen what he has to deal with any time he's out in public in his home universe, she's surprised he deals with his fame as well as he does. In his place, she thinks she probably would have punched someone by now.

"And... well, first, I thought we might go out and get you a few changes of clothes. Hopefully you won't be stuck here that long, but... just in case..." She shrugs a little and smiles, fighting down the guilt at keeping certain details from him. There's a chance that even if they can find a way to send him back, she might have to break her promise to him. If what Peter thought he knew was right...

"After that, I need to stop by the Federal Building and then the lab. You don't have to come if you don't want to - I'm sure Walter will need you at some point, but he can make do with just running tests on me for the time being."

"It's not so bad," he says, guessing at least in part what she's thinking. "Took some getting used to, but..."

Steve frowns. Okay, it's difficult to justify what the reporters who hang around the mansion do. Finally, he just says, "It's their job."

As for the rest of it, he bobs a quick nod and looks around, half-thinking he needs to grab a jacket or a file or something, but he's wearing the only clothes he has - the shirt Olivia gave him mercifully fits a lot better that Peter's did - and ends up standing there, feeling like he's mentally missed a step. "I'll come. I don't know what I'd do otherwise - though." Steve sighs and scratches his nose. "I don't want to... to leave it all to you, figuring this out, but I'm still not comfortable with him testing me."

Olivia snorts at his comment about the reporters. The fact that it's their job doesn't excuse them intruding on his life, but she's not going to argue with him about it.

"It's fine. I'm used to Walter experimenting on me one way or another." She manages to say it with only a faint hint of bitterness - she's more or less come to terms with what he did to her as a child, but actually thinking about it too much still unsettles her.

She sighs, her eyes fixed on her coffee cup as she goes on, "But... I'm sure you understand this already, but there's a chance whatever this is - the reason you're here with me - does have to do with you somehow. With... what you are, what was done to you. And in that case, figuring out how to send you back will require some kind of tests or..." She shakes her head a little. "It's still your choice. And I am willing to exhaust every other option before it becomes an issue. But I just want you to be aware of that now."

Steve nods, slowly. If in seventy years, with samples of his blood, his own government couldn't work out what Erskine had done-

Different world, different rules.

"Once it's done, I'd like it destroyed. Once I'm home. The samples, the notes, everything." He drags in a deep breath and goes back, coffee in hand, to hold the door for her again. "I've seen what Dr. Erskine's work can do. I've seen what abusing it can do. And I won't let that happen, not to y- Your. World."

He takes a too-long drink of coffee and ends up burning and choking himself at once.

"Of course," she says, and starts out the door as he holds it open for her. "I'll make sure of it myself."

She was about to lead the way down to the car, but she doesn't get far before the sound of him choking makes her turn back around, frowning. "...are you alright?"

He nods, wordlessly, recovering as he shuts the door and follows her down the hall. "Fine, thank you."

It's not a wheeze. Not quite.

By the time they get to the lab, Steve is almost happy to face a clinical eye and tests rather than the clothing store help and college girls who kept smiling and laughing when he acted embarrassed taking off his shirt or stopped to hold the door.

Girls. Women. He doesn't. Can't- Just can't.

Peter is there already, staring into space and tapping out a rhythm that almost sounds familiar, or would if he were playing the notes that went with it. He gives Steve a little nod and bypasses the man, heading straight for Olivia. "Did the research you asked me about."

Olivia had been smiling when she walked in - the moment Peter says that, her expression goes carefully neutral. "Thank you, Peter. Steve, can you give us just a minute? We'll be in the office just over there if Walter gives you any trouble."

She assumes Astrid will step in before then, but sometimes Peter really is the only one who can handle his father.

"Oh- of course." He's a little alarmed by the request - with the last encounter he had with the scientist, he's not exactly looking forward to being alone with him for any length of time, but...

Peter closes the door behind them when they slip into the office and drags a hand through his hair. "Okay, I was wrong. Sort of. It's a lot more complicated than Iron Man killing Captain America."

He's not sure where to even start. "Stark didn't pull the trigger, but he's..." Screw comics, honestly. "There was a sort of civil war over this superhero registration act - Stark was for it, Cap was against it. When Cap saw how much collateral damage they were causing..." Peter sighs. "His exact words were 'we're not fighting for the people any more, we're just fighting'. He turned himself in, and got shot climbing the steps of the courthouse for his trial. Well, he took a bullet for a cop, just like his assassins knew he would. ...How much do you know about Captain America? The whole thing."

Put that way... It doesn't sound so unbelievable. Sounds all too likely, honestly, and the idea of sending him back to that... She swallows hard and focuses on the question. One thing at a time.

"Not a lot. Just what he's told me. I know... some of how they made him what he is. He was part the Strategic Science Reserve during World War II, and he ended up frozen for seventy years when he crashed a plane to save... a lot of lives." She takes a breath, hands pressed together in front of her mouth while she thinks. "Peter... when is this supposed to happen? It was 2011 back there. He's been out of the ice for... a year, at most."

That actually gets some surprise. "It ended in 2007. They just pulled him out?"

That's provides a very, very different timetable. He's already remapping it in his head, following the various possibilities that could lead to the same conclusion - and it all adds up to one simple truth: they need more information.

"We have to tell him. The people who organized his murder have been his enemies since the beginning, the very beginning. There's no way to determine if the same events apply in his reality as do in the continuity of the comics. Besides, in the comics they bring him back to life."

He massages his temples. "Who knows if that's even possible where he's from."YY

"I don't know," she says quietly, spreading her hands for a moment before she laces them together again in her usual 'thinking' pose. "He's going to want to go back either way, I know that much. Who knows if we even can get him back, and if we can't..."

She glances toward the main lab, though she can't see Steve from where they are. "Is it even fair to tell him about something he can't change?" More fair than keeping information about his own universe and possible future from him, anyway. Nothing about this is really fair.

He wants to go over to her, to put his arms around her, to somehow make this easier - but he doesn't. Instead he says, "You would want to know."

It's gentle. Of course it is. But it's also firm. "If some version of you, somewhere, had gone through all of the things you've been through, and could have warned you beforehand- you would want to know, even if it didn't change anything."

She doesn't say anything at first, just stands there quietly, looking frustrated because she knows he's right. She already knew, but having it pointed out to her makes it impossible to ignore. Finally, she nods, drops her hands, and takes a breath.

"Okay. So we tell him. Maybe he can tell us something we don't know about... all of this." She eyes the door to the lab again, then glances back to Peter. "Do you have the comic here? So we can show him?"

He goes over to his desk - clears away a few food wrappers Walter left there - and fishes a stack of comic trades from one of the drawers. "Do you want to read them first? I can hold Walter off until you're done."

"Could you, please?" she says, looking a little relieved as she reaches out to take the books from him. "I'd rather know exactly what we are showing him before we spring this on him."

Peter hesitates before handing them over. "It's not going to be easy for you, either, if you're... friends."

Still weird to say, even silently, Captain America is in my father's lab. He starts for the door.

She smiles tightly at that comment. "I'll be fine." She knows Peter won't believe it, but she can't stop herself from saying it anyway. Maybe she can actually convince herself it's not a big deal, just a story that happens to be about a friend, one that doesn't have to come true.

She's still eyeing the books when Peter starts out the door, but lifts her head at the last second and says before he can actually leave, "Peter?"

That part's in a normal tone for her, but the next is almost tentative as she asks, "Do you think- When we get a chance, whenever that is, we could... talk? About us?"

She hesitates for a second, and then barrels on quickly, "It's just- In the hotel room, when I went to find you in the other universe, that was... I know it's been months and you thought I was dead, but I meant what I said. I still... mean it."

Olivia doesn't often feel really nervous, never mind awkward. She's feeling both now, pretty overwhelmingly.

"I didn't." It's the first thing that comes to mind after a silence that's probably too long. "I didn't think you were dead. I'd... I would never give up on you, not like that."

He puts his hand to the doorknob, realizes he hasn't answered her question, and drops it again. No expression, no expression, nothing that can give it away, not now when Captain America is in his father's lab and Olivia is about to read his fall and death - not now. "Yes. We can. We... I never doubted... We can."

She smiles at him, the brightness a little muted by her worry about Steve and the nervousness that hasn't quite faded given Peter's slightly awkward response, but happy nevertheless.

"Thank you. I know this isn't really the best time to bring it up, but..." She shrugs a little. In their life, when the hell is a good time?

Olivia waits until Peter's been gone for a minute or so to start reading - first to get the conversation with him out of her head, and then to work herself up to actually opening the book. And then she does, and she reads.

It takes a while. And it takes some time after that to just sit there and shove all her personal feelings about this to the back of her mind, make absolutely certain she's calm and nothing but professional when she finally opens the door and calls, "Captain?"

Peter and Walter have been arguing for the past five minutes about something that sounds either extremely scientific or like a debate over breakfast food- Steve isn't sure which. Either way, he's made himself as scarce as possible, talking quietly to Gene about nothing in particular while he rubs her ears and she looks at him like he's the only insane biped in the room.

Steve doesn't quite bolt for the office when Olivia calls, but it's a close thing. He stops just before he reaches her. "Yes ma'am?"

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Yes I'm still in Steve's journal shh.

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I HAVE NO FACES OF NEUTRAL PAIN APPROPRIATE FOR THIS MOMENT.

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